Auntie Kの日記


Preference or Prejudice??

Hi ya!


I knew of a youtuber called Riyadh who is a 20 something Iraqui-Irish gay guy. I even watched a few v-blogs from his youtube channel.

I found out last month that he was teaming up with BBC to create a documentary dissecting the current gay cultures in UK.

First four episodes have already taken on some of the controversial issues within the gay community right now with which I agree that they are very real.

I lost it while watching the third episode and fourth episode just gutted me hard.


What and where is this fine line between preference and prejudice?

Prejudices exist in the gay community in Canada as well. Yes, it's everywhere.

In the episode, Manjinder says "(these so-called preferences) made him feel really really unwanted and just like worthless. Just made him feel like he was't good enough at all..."

I really get that, a 100%

It is difficult to accept when someone, who is supposed to be of your kind and on your side, rejects you for who you are.

Such an irony innit.

You have now been rejected for being gay by the community at large but also rejected for being a different race other than White by your own gay community...

Many a time was I ignored to be served at local gay bars.

Many a time was I ignored to be acknowledged to be served at local gay bars.

Many a time did I see an online profile saying "No Asians".

Each time, it certainly made me feel that I was unwanted, that I wasn't good enough, and that my life was pointless.

And the same experiences happened over and over again as the unwanted, not-good-enough, and pointless life feelings kept accumulating on top of each other...

It doesn't matter, I guess, that I am happily married now because I still feel that way sometimes.

The hurt, that pains, that feeling of lost and emptiness, they would stay with you for a long long time...Something or someone will trigger those feelings and bring you back to that dark place.

How can we change these negative dynamics within our community?

More dialogues?

More media exposures?


Riyadh seems to think so, doesn't he. Whereas I think ...